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Last week, Emma Bunton (aka Baby Spice) hinted that a Spice Girls reunionmight be on the horizon in honor of next year being the 20th anniversary of their 1996 hit “Wannabe." We have one thing to say to that: We. Are. Too. Excited.
While they’ve re-teamed up in the past (in 2012 they performed at the Olympics and put on a musical written by comedian Jennifer Saunders), we’re rooting for them to get together one last time and make another Spice Girls movie.
In 1997, the world was blessed with their first cinematic masterpiece Spice World. While what exactly the plot was remains a mystery to most viewers, we still know that in our heart of hearts that the world is now ready for another one. So here are a couple of reasons that it is time for a Spice World 2.
1. Because their potential movie “Spice Force Five" would have been amazing and needs to happen in some way.
We need to know if these metallic outfits ever actually graced the silver screen in the Spice World film universe—and if Scary Spice was ever able to cover the damages that came from blowing up the wrong building as pitched. While it was a hilarious throwaway moment of comedy, the reality of such a thing would have been horrifying. Let’s see that lawsuit pan out with some catchy musical numbers!
2. Also, it is so clear that the world is in dire need of more '90s girl power.
Although all of the girls were pro-girl power, Ginger Spice especially took the statement to heart. Even as a “master of disguise”/old man/Bob Hoskins in the Spice Force Five pitch, she pushed for “equality among the sexes”. When Scary Spice dressed up as Ginger, she repeated this message of female empowerment.
We would love to see how the Spice Girls took this message into 2015!
3. The crossover potential
First of all, what was up with the alien thing? I’m a huge fan of plot twists, but even I am still a little bit lost about what was being set up by having aliens come down and ask for the autographs of the Spice Girls.
I’m going to lay this out for filmmakers to make it easy peasy. Bare with me, because I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. Ready for it? Here goes:
The X-Files has recently been announced as coming back to Fox, so I propose that the two teams could get together, do an X-Files/Spice World crossover and draw in a variety of audiences from all around the globe.
Just think about it. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully could investigate the Spice Girls-obsessed aliens with musical pieces peppered in here and there. Scully and Ginger Spice could team up for one song and show the world why redheads are the best. I and other redheads all over the world would finally feel vindicated for always being forced to play Ginger Spice as kids when all we wanted was to be Baby Spice like ONE time.
Anyway, I’m just spitballing here, but maybe they could call it Spice World 2: Spice Universe?
Also, while we're talking about crossovers, we need an answer to this: why wasAlan Cumming in both this movie and Josie and the Pussycats? Is that allowed?
Above, Alan Cumming as the documentarian in Spice World. Below, as manipulative manager/producer Wyattt Frame in Josie and the Pussycats. What’s going on?
Did Alan Cumming spend half a decade only going to “man in campy millennial-era films about girl groups” auditions? Why was he the good guy in one and the bad guy in the other? Could it be that they both actually existed in the same universe and he was posing as a documentarian in Spice World to get secrets on how to jettison Josie & co. onto a higher level of fame? Does Alan Cumming know something we don’t?
The plot of Josie and the Pussycats hinges on the importance of subliminal messaging in marketing, making this not completely far-fetched. So let’s go with it. Alan Cumming can do no wrong in our eyes, so we’re pretty sure he’ll take some time off from filming hit TV series The Good Wife to come back for a crossover film.
Now that the ladies are older and wiser, the two bands can go face to face in a '90s girl group reunion extravaganza. The Spice Girls would win, of course, but Josie and her pals could put up a good fight.
I can see the Twitter madness now: #teamspice or #teamjosie? Either way, #teamgirlpower.
4. Alternatively, a second movie could take a look at what happened post-Spice career for the girls.
We could start by addressing some of the pressing legal issues that the movie set up: did Posh hurt anybody when she drove like a madwoman through the densely populated streets of London? Was she fined for ascending the London bridge as it closed and for jumping a huge bus across the gap?
(This and many other killer stunts are some of the reasons I love this film.)
Maybe Posh actually gives up her life of singing and dancing to become a bus driver because she’s found her true calling in it. If we bring aging into the situation, what happens when Baby Spice hits 30? Does she keep the baby schtick? What about when Ginger starts to get grays in her signature red hair? We need another movie to explore these sorts of things. The public needs answers.
Also, lest we forget, there was a bomb on the bus. There was a bomb. On. The bus. This is a really big deal, guys, and you never find out who put the bomb there. I want to see what happens when the FBI comes to investigate who tried to violently end the existence of 100% of the Spice Girl population. These are the stories we want to see. Gritty. Intense. Real.
It could be called Spice World 2: Life After Spice.
5. Mostly, we need a Spice World 2 because we are just dying to know what the Spice Girls characters would be like in 2015.
Posh would be Instagram-obsessed and an avid fan of SoulCycle; Ginger would be the funniest person on Twitter; Sporty would be a CrossFit and paleo-diet devotee, Scary would be the CEO of a major company; and Baby would be a super-successful mommy blogger. I have based these predictions on a wealth of childhood knowledge, so I’m pretty sure I’m on the money.
In conclusion, we’re seriously wishing so hard for them to get together to spice up our life once again. We’ve thrown so many pennies in so many fountains. Sure, that means we can’t pay rent this month, but it will be worth it if our wish comes true.
So come on ladies, let’s make another Spice World happen!
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